Tits.

So, it looks like Page Three has had its day.

There’s been no official confirmation from the Sun, but it hasn’t published any topless pictures since Friday (four days ago. I’m not saying that in case you can’t count, although I had to get fingers involved – just in case you’re reading this days or weeks from now. I’m thoughtful like that).

It’s been a long fought campaign, albeit one I’ll admit I didn’t pay much attention to at first.

Massive norks really aren’t something I’m qualified to talk about.

I jest. I was just typically late to get on board. If you know me AT ALL, this will come as little surprise.

I don’t buy any newspapers, and if I did I’d be unlikely to buy one featuring ‘news in briefs’ (Kayleigh, 22 from London thinks the situation in Syria is just awful).

But I’d read them every day at work, and at times I’d skim past whatever actual interesting articles were on pages two and three because I just didn’t really feel the need to have a big pair of nipples staring at me as I sipped my second or third coffee, attempted to prise my eyes fully open and contemplated brushing my hair at some point that morning.

It didn’t make me uncomfortable, as such. I’m no prude.

During an office debate about what items we’d pack if we were going on a stake-out, I even found that Page Three made quite a useful SpyPaper (patent pending).

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You just don’t NEED tits in the paper.

There are no willies in the paper (and no, the male torso is not a fair trade). It’s about equality, goddammit!

And as one of my colleagues SO eloquently put it, “daddy doesn’t need to get a chub on over his weetabix while his offspring look on”.

We live in a modern, digital world.

The internet will deliver pretty much anything if you know how to work a search engine: bosoms of all shapes and sizes; clothed, unclothed; natural, enhanced; being treated nicely or not so nicely; there’s even a woman who supposedly has THREE, for crying out loud (yes, I know that was a hoax. Sorry if you didn’t – illusion shattered).

If you really can’t negotiate Google Image, let alone any of the more – ahem – specialist sites out there; there are plenty of publications – from lad’s mags to top shelf spunk rags – which are more suited to the subject matter.

They’re not family newspapers.

If a cheap tabloid is the only place you can see a pair of tits, you have FAR bigger things to worry about than a small victory for feminism and equality.

Oh, and one more thing.

A number of glamour models have had their say, branding it a sad day for freedom of speech, bad news for the modelling industry, a step back to the 1950s and the end of a British institution (comparable with fish and chips, Yorkshire puds or seaside postcards, appaz).

I’m not going to agree with them, but they are of course entitled to those opinions.

However, one former Page Three stunna, Rhian Sugden, took it a step too far when she tweeted, “It’s only a matter if time before everything we do will be dictated by comfy shoe wearing… No bra wearing… Man haters”.

What the hell’s wrong with comfy shoes, eh?

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6 thoughts on “Tits.”

  1. I’m not sure if your quote from Rhian Sugden had the desired effect. I had to Google her to find out who she was!

    I’m disappointed that they didn’t choose to get rid of the rubbish in the other 50 pages at the same time as they got rid of page 3. A terrible rag of a paper.

    1. As you say, each to their own – I just think there are plenty other places to see them so why do they have to be in a newspaper that kids can pick up? They’re seeing only women pose semi-naked, it hardly sends out a strong gender equality message.

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